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Life Lessons: Two Experts on Death and Dying Teach Us About the Mysteries of Life and Living, by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, David Kessler
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A Message From Elisabeth
We all have lessons to learn during this time called life; this is especially apparent when working with the dying. The dying learn a great deal at the end of life, usually when it is too late to apply. After moving to the Arizona desert in 1995, I had a stroke on Mother's Day that left me paralyzed. I spent the next few years at death's door. Sometimes I thought death would come within a few weeks. Many times, I was disappointed that it did not come, for I was ready. But I have not died because I am still learning the lessons of life, my final lessons. These lessons are the ultimate truths about our lives; they are the secrets to life itself. I wanted to write one more book, not on death and dying but on life and living.
Is this really how I want to live my life?
Each one of us at some point asks this question. The tragedy is not that life is short but that we often see only in hindsight what really matters.
In Life Lessons, her first book on life and living, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross joins with David Kessler to guide readers through the practical and spiritual lessons we need to learn so that we can live life to its fullest in every moment. Many years of working with the dying have shown the authors that certain lessons come up over and over again. Some of these lessons can be difficult to master, but even the attempts to understand them are deeply rewarding. Here, in fourteen accessible chapters, from the Lesson of Love to the Lesson of Happiness, the authors reveal the truth about our fears, our hopes, our relationships, and, above all, the grandness of who we really are.
- Sales Rank: #469900 in Books
- Brand: Scribner
- Published on: 2000-11-21
- Released on: 2000-11-21
- Ingredients: Example Ingredients
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.44" h x .85" w x 5.50" l, .87 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 224 pages
- Used Book in Good Condition
Amazon.com Review
After experiencing a paralyzing stroke in 1995 and facing her own mortality, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (author of the renowned On Death and Dying) realized she had some unfinished business to take care of. "I wanted to write one more book, not on death and dying, but on life and living," she explains. So she joined forces with coauthor David Kessler, a leader in the field of hospice care, and together they wrote about the lessons we can learn about living from those who are dying. As Kessler explains in his introduction, "The dying have always been teachers of great lessons, for it's when we are pushed to the edge of life that we see most clearly."
In days gone by, the community would have gathering places where children and adults listened to elders tell their stories of life's challenges and the meaning they found in life. In lieu of that kind of extended community, the authors offer this book, filled with stories from the edge. Then, like fireside elders, they weave these personal stories into themes, such as living authentically, the importance of play, finding one's power, loving relationships, and self-compassion. One cannot say enough about the lasting value of this beautifully written and carefully rendered book. This is your chance to see life from the 20/20 vision of hindsight. In the end what will we value most? Here are some hints: the days we surrendered and became calm, the times we healed that which was broken, and of course all the moments we opened ourselves to love. --Gail Hudson
From Publishers Weekly
Blending the words of two authors is a precarious undertaking, particularly when the two voices are as strong and well-known as those of K bler-Ross and hospice-care leader Kessler (The Rights of the Dying). Given the similarity in their viewpoints as experts on death and dying, this collaboration seems logical, but unfortunately the alternating entries result in repetitive, rambling prose that lacks punch. The "lessons from the edge of life" culled from the authors' patients include letting go of anger, guilt and fear; learning patience; mourning and accepting loss; playing, laughing and enjoying life; and surrendering to what can't be changed. Although some of the brief personal stories are poignant, the underlying precepts are not new. Kessler and K bler-Ross offer only familiar aphorisms: "live every day to its fullest," "each of us has the power of the universe within us," happiness is a state of mind we can choose, suffering is an opportunity for growth, "life is a school, complete with individualized tests and challenges." Such lessons may be true and useful, but here they come off as trite. K bler-Ross has been ill for many years, suffering two strokes that left her partially incapacitated and may have made writing difficult, but the brief glimpses into her personal journey through illness and near death cry out for elaboration. Mentions of coping with a home health-care worker who stole from her, a nurse who labeled her "combative" and friends who must help this previously vigorous woman navigate the world in a wheelchair indicate a much fuller, richer story than the expanded platitudes offered here, which are unlikely to widen either author's readership. (Nov.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From Booklist
The psychiatrist whose On Death and Dying (1970) put issues about life's end on the contemporary cultural agenda teams with a leader in the hospice movement in her first book on living. Its 14 thoughtful chapters lead readers from the "Lesson of Authenticity" to the "Lesson of Happiness" by means of illustrative anecdotes from the lives of both authors' patients. Rather than writing in a unitary voice, Kubler-Ross and Kessler speak separately, and each writer's portions of the text are signed with her or his initials. The observations of the two sometimes complement very powerfully, especially those that come from the time in 1995 when Kubler-Ross suffered a stroke that brought her perilously close to death. She recovered to write that life lessons are opportunities to rid ourselves of negativity and find the best in ourselves and others. As the collaborators write about the lessons of fear, guilt, anger, surrender, forgiveness, and the rest, they teach that true healing extends beyond physical repair to the mending of spirits and souls. Whitney Scott
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved
Most helpful customer reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
The ultimate in peace, understanding and compassion for creating and living a life that flows with acceptance
By Jim
It's really difficult for me to adequately describe how wonderful this book is. I had gone through severe emotional turmoil and searched for understanding and guidance for a year before I found "Life Lessons" As a consequence, I highlighted many paragraphs and sentences in this book and reread some of them daily. When I finish with reading the book's highlighted areas, I start over from the beginning again. This book was a lifesaver. It is absolutely non-judgmental, compassionate and inspires peace for the soul. I cannot recommend it highly enough.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
One of the Greatest Books of My Life
By Jessica
When I went through the toughest break up of my life, I read this book on my ipad. I needed to find out what lessons could be learned from all my pain and take a fresh look at my life to see if I was going in the direction that would cultivate highest self. Reading about life lessons yelled me start to heal. I learned so much I bought it as a paperback and gave it to my newly ex-boyfriend so he could get the most out of our breakup as well and grow from it as I was starting to do. He was thankful and read it happily. We enjoyed a few conversations afterward about our takeaways.
Here are some of my favorite quotes:
"On these journeys we may be given a lot, or just a little bit, of the things we must grapple with, but never more than we can handle. Someone who needs to learn about love may be married many times, or never at all. One who must wrestle with the lesson of money may be given none at all, or too much to count."
"When we face the worst that can happen in any situation, we grow. When circumstances are at their worst, we can find our best."
"You undoubtedly have faults, but they are not you. You maybe have a disease, but you are not your diagnosis. You may be rich, but you are not your credit rating... All these things are changeable. There is a part of you that is indefinable and changeless, that does not get lost or change with age, disease, or circumstances. There is an authenticity you were born with, have lived with, and will die with."
This book teaches so much and I have read my highlighted versions over and over again. This is a book you either keep easily accessible or buy electronically so you have it everywhere you go.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Powerful and wise!
By Niki Collins-queen, Author
Elizabeth Kübler-Ross joins with David Kessler in their book "Life Lessons: Two Experts on Death and Dying Teach Us About the Mysteries of Life and Living" to guide us through life lessons and live fully in every moment.
"Life Lessons" is Elizabeth's eighteenth book. It's a special gift as it's the last book she wrote before her death in 2004. She had a stroke on Mother's Day in 1995 that left her paralyzed and next to death's door for many months. But she did not die. She says she's still learning the lessons of life. God is shrewd; her head was not affected by the strokes. She can't use her left leg and arm but she can talk and think. It's her final lesson. She must work on receiving, on learning to say thank you. To be nurtured rather than nurturing. Throughout her life, she gave and gave, but never learned to receive. She must learn patience and surrender.
Elizabeth says each of us has a Mother Teresa and a Hitler. The Mother Teresa is the best in us and the Hitler is the worst in us. The goal in life is to find the best, get rid of the worst and be authentic by standing in our truth. Admitting we have the capacity to be inauthentic and carry negativity is essential so we can work on the problem and release it. It's not always easy to find out who we are authentically. The reality of the world is that some relationships don't work out; there are supposed to be disagreements and disappointments.
David says the grandest kind of perfection of who we are includes being honest about our dark side and imperfections. Elizabeth says the windstorms of life, makes us who we are. We are here to heal one another. Most of us spend a lot of energy keeping a lid on our unfinished business. We want unconditional love. To be loved for who we are rather than what we do or don't do. However, when we feel unloved, it is not because we are not receiving love; it's because we are withholding love from ourselves and others. Love has to come from within. We can't solve all our loved ones problems but we can try to be there for them.
In working with the dying and the living it became clear to Elizabeth and David that most of us are challenged by the same lessons: authenticity, love, relationships, loss, power, guilt, time, fear, anger, play, patience, surrender, forgiveness and happiness. The fourteen chapters reveal the truth about theses topics, show we are put on the earth to learn the lessons, we are not alone and we are all connected. Also to watch love grow and to see how relationships enrich us.
I attended one of Elizabeth's five-day Living, Dying and Transition workshop in the early 80s. It had a profound effect on me and changed how I viewed the world. She showed us how everyone has the capacity to love others unconditionally and that it is our unfinished business that keeps us from doing so. In her workshop she created an environment where we were encouraged to express our hurt and rage in an atmosphere of love and acceptance, so we could be done with it. Feelings were not talked about but felt. If sad, we cried; if angry, we were given a rubber hose and an old telephone book and told, "Have at it!" I was skeptical about what this outpouring of negativity would accomplish. Yet it worked. I was amazed how angry, depressed people transformed themselves into radiant, loving persons right before my eyes. I realized in this workshop that we are all connected and that our life stories are much the same.
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