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The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, by Laura Schlessinger
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In her most provocative book yet, Dr. Laura urgently reminds women that to take proper care of their husbands is to ensure themselves the happiness and satisfaction they yearn for in marriage.
Women want to be in love, get married, and live happily ever after. Yet disrespect for men and disregard for the value, feelings, and needs of husbands has fast become the standard for male-female relations in America. Those two attitudes clash in unfortunate ways to create struggle and strife in what could be a beautiful relationship.
Countless women call Dr. Laura, unhappy in their marriages and seemingly at a loss to understand the incredible power they have over their men to create the kind of home life they yearn for. Now, in The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, Dr. Laura shows you—with real-life examples and real-life solutions—how to wield that power to attain all the sexual pleasure, intimacy, love, joy, and peace you want in your life.
Dr. Laura's simple principles have changed the lives of millions. Now they can change yours.
- Sales Rank: #277364 in Books
- Brand: Harper
- Published on: 2003-12-30
- Released on: 2003-12-30
- Ingredients: Example Ingredients
- Format: Abridged
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.25" h x .77" w x 5.50" l, 3.00 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 208 pages
- Family & Relationships
From Publishers Weekly
In her newest book, Schlessinger (10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives) relies upon her experience in private practice, radio and letters she received from men and women in tackling the issue of women who mistreat their men and suffer the consequences of unhappiness. The women who criticize their husbands in the stories that Schlessinger relates are depressed in their marriages and feel little love from their husbands. Unabashedly asserting that man is a "very simple creature," who needs only "direct communication, respect, appreciation, food, and good loving'" to respond with devotion, compassion and love, this controversial marriage and family therapist claims that every woman can achieve a deeply satisfying marriage if she adheres to certain fundamentals men require. Preparing dinner, caring for the children without complaint, greeting her husband with a kiss and engaging in sexual intimacy instead of "tearing down a husband's necessary sense of strength and importance" can result in the harmonious marriage women crave. While many of her listeners and readers claim her unequivocal advice has salvaged teetering marriages and improved marital harmony, others perceive Schlessinger as a throwback to what many see as years of female oppression in the home.
Copyright � Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
From Booklist
Dr. Laura gets back into the battle of the sexes in this new offering, which will bring Marabel Morgan's Total Woman (1975) to the minds of readers of a certain age. Schlessinger doesn't advise women to greet their husband in saran wrap, as Morgan did, but she does tell women to shape up, literally and figuratively. Women need to understand that men are sensitive creatures who want to protect and cherish their wives. Is it any wonder that marriages go bad when churlish female spouses withdraw their affection, make unreasonable demands, and don't understand the male nature? In point of fact, there is nothing wrong with (or revolutionary about) Schlessinger's core point: be nicer and more nurturing to your spouse, and he will be nicer to you. But she beats her message to death, resorting to wild generalizations; repeating ideas, thoughts, and phrases ad infinitum; and bolstering her arguments with endless examples from callers and fax writers who are all making mistakes until shown the light. Not surprisingly, Dr. Laura promises no similar title for the care and feeding of wives. Apparently there would be no fun in that. Ilene Cooper
Copyright � American Library Association. All rights reserved
Review
'The most controversial self-help book of the year.' INDEPENDENT ON SUNDAY 'A hot meal on the table, a dab of fresh lipstick and sex on demand: such are the duties of a modern wife as described in a runaway bestseller that is infuriating the feminist lobby across America...Dr Laura Schlessinger, a controversial radio host prompts angry mutterings among the politically correct but her forthright views on just who in a marriage should pick up the dirty underpants are winning over the mainstream.' THE SUNDAY TIMES - 'with 17 million listeners the 57 year-old New Yorker is America's favourite on-air counsellor.' EXPRESS
Most helpful customer reviews
12 of 13 people found the following review helpful.
Every career woman who wants to also have a truly happy marriage (married or not) MUST read this!!!
By the_hitchhiker
I buy tons of things on Amazon and this is the first time I feel the urge to write a review. In one word, this book saved my marriage!
I met my husband four years ago and we have been married for three years with a beautiful baby boy. Our relationship started full of passionate love. It was love of the first sight, and then after time passes by, we truly believed we were made for each other and we were each other's soul mates. We both felt the other person satisfied every fantasy we had on every dimension when it comes to the other half that's supposed to complete us. I regarded him as the manly man and my hero and he regarded me as his sweet flower. We were both around 30 years old, so we were not some teenagers who have never seen other men or women.
We got engaged six months after we met and got married six months after the engagement. We can't even wait for a year to plan the wedding! Then we had a baby a year later. The arrival of the baby changed everything. First we started to have different strong opinions regarding how to care for the tiny baby, then it's his family, then my family. All of sudden, before we knew it, we were pretty much fighting about everything, no matter how trivial it is. I felt true despair. If what we had cannot be called true love, then what can? I stepped into marriage with the rosy view that with our true l love, admiration for each other, nothing will stand in the way of our happy ever after life. The reality is the opposite.
And all the conflicts are not there because one of us is slacking off or shirking the responsibilities as a parent. We both work really hard and are terrific parents. I have a career but managed to breastfeed my baby until he is almost two. I clean, do laundry, and cook fresh delicious home-made meal for dinner every day. He works super hard at his job and he provides a great life for the family (a big house, nice cars, etc etc.). Once he gets off work, he comes home right away to take care of the baby. He devotes all his time on the weekend to the baby without me asking for it. And we truly still love each other. When we fight, we both feel deeply hurt and still care about each other. So we make up, but then something will trigger another fight a week later. The cycle continues.
So I searched for answers. I believe in solutions in every problem. Finally I came across this book. Even with all the great reviews, I was skeptical initially. Then I was completely blown away by the truth revealed in the book. For example, I used to believe since we have true love between my husband and me, so I am supposed to "share" whatever is on my mind whenever I want. If his reaction is not what I expected (patient, understanding etc., the stuff depicted in a movie), I get annoyed. So quote this book "Somehow wives have come to believe that with respect to communication, more is better. Wrong. More appropriately selected and times is better." So true! Another example is I love him so much because I think he is such a manly man. As a result, I neglected the fact that he has emotional weakness too. And he actually relies on me more for emotional support that I need him! (As we girls are natural talkers and we talk to everybody.) But I just brushed it off as he is not being himself.
I think the root of the problem is that as an independent career woman, we have been influenced too much by the feminism stuff. When I was growing up, my mom always "work hard and be independent, then you don't have to rely on a man and be his submissive wife." So I equate "a submissive wife" with "a loving understanding wife who respects his husband's opinions". Even though all these are subconscious cuz I always think of myself as a woman with traditional value, who acknowledge the differences between genders, who think some extreme values of feminism are actually hurting women. I didn't know I was influenced subconsciously!
If I ever have a daughter of my own one day, this is what I will tell her: work hard, and be independent, just because you want to be responsible for yourself as a human being, not for any other reasons. Don't have extreme views regarding men, they are not untrustworthy but they are not your savior either. Treat them as a truly equal. Respect them, love them, and they will return in ten folds.
The only negative part of this book, is that the author seems to try sneaking in some religious stuff related to God. You can just ignore it if you are not religious. Doesn't reduce the value of the book.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Gonna give it a try..
By DeeTee1238
I've been in a 10 year relationship to which, in my opinion is going down in flames. After reading this book, I reflected and realized I'm guilty of doing a lot of things this book talks about.
Since I have just finished reading it, it's too soon to report any successes based on it. However, I do realize at this moment, I do want "us" to succeed. Being an optimist, I will take the books advice and start with the hardest thing Dr Laura says for any one to do...change.
I will write and update of my future results.
I think if you are considering reading this book, while reading be open to yourself and take time to reflect. I guarantee you will find one if not several "aha!" moments.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Good advice for all
By 2L@CU
This book puts into prospective how self-centric women can often be when they view themselves and their relationship with their significant other. While not all bits of advice are applicable to all persons, Dr. Laura gives much food for thought on how women can better handle their relationships with the men in their lives by simply being empathic and understanding to the uniqueness of men and that particular man to whom you chose to tie yourself. This book teaches that equality really means equal respect for all and between the sexes/genders but being equal doesn't mean we all fit into the same package, e.g. women are more verbally expressive while men are more physical and visual--understanding that can help women learn how to treat men with the care and respect they need, which includes not expecting them to want be your girlfriend and spend time gossiping and giving them much needed physical intimacy. Most importantly, this book reminds us to make our relationships with our significant others a priority and to not neglect any aspect of that relationship.
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